We are all emotionally driven by our values. Knowing your values is really important, especially when changing your world or developing any new behaviour or habit.
Most People Don’t Know Their Values
- You eat well, select nutritious meals and exercise to fulfil health goals
- You purchase art, take photographs or grow flowers to fulfil your value of beauty
- You buy a new suit to fulfil the value of success, power or recognition, and of course looking good.
Often in our lives there are values conflicts. For example I worked with a man who’s highest value was freedom (for him it was a Towards value) and he wanted to have lasting a lasting relationship (Away from freedom).
I’m working out because I want to have good health and energy (Towards), but also because I don’t want to be fat (Away from). I also like ease and flow, simplicity and routine.
We feel good when we are successfully fulfilling our Towards and avoiding our Away From values - and may describe this as 'happiness'. Unhappiness is when we are doing the opposite.
Few people have any awareness of their values. They are on auto-pilot. Driven by values that they do not know exist. We do things because we 'want to' but we rarely know 'why' we want to. We usually do things because they felt successful in the past or because others have told us they are appropriate.
Values and Beliefs
Most of our values were established many years ago. Many were adopted when we were very young children. Yet they are likely to be still driving our behaviours decades later - simply because we don't know about them and have therefore never got around to updating them.
A good way to recognise values is to understand where you spend your time, energy and money, and what the feelings that gives you.
Values, once identified, can be difficult to change. But you can recognise the rules you have for doing your values (beliefs) and change those easily.
February is the start of a 30 day nutrition program for me and I’m upping my game in the gym with my personal trainer. As well as having some strategies and tactics, I’m in the process of reviewing my values stack and the rules (or beliefs) that I have to run these values.
For me to be successful (Towards value) in the next 30 days, I need to focus on exercise (belief - exercise makes me healthy) and eat right (belief - good nutrition makes me healthy). I’ve had to mess with these beliefs because I’ve had a love / hate relationship with food in the past, where I can happily not eat for a couple of days, and then eat lots in good company or if I’m bored. I’ve had to utilise my values stack to get leverage.
The Value of Values
Knowing your values enables you to:
- Be aware of whats important and what drives you,
- Get control of your “hot buttons: so others can’t push them,
- Recognise what you need to do to feel good and what you need to change,
- Use them to upgrade, delete or create new beliefs to get leverage and achieve your goals and outcomes faster,
- Get more flexibility and choice in getting your wants and needs met.
Unconscious Values and Beliefs
It takes time to uncover your unconscious values and beliefs. They’re slippery and evasive. And even you think you know what’s getting in your way, these hidden values and beliefs are little saboteurs.
We believe values and beliefs are critically important to create positive change in every area of a person’s life, and for success and achievement which is why we spend significant time helping you uncover them on our Mind Skills Mastery training.
Uncover Your Conscious Values
My value for health is not as important as success, education and freedom. In order for my value of success to be met in February, I have to plan well and be consistent. By pre paying my personal trainer I have to show up – Towards integrity – turning up on time - and I hate losing money – Away from poverty, toward success. And over the next 30 days I will learn more about nutrition, my body and mind – Towards learning and education.
Get to know your conscious values. Make two lists. One will list the feelings you would like to feel and the other will have those that you would like to avoid feeling.
Common Towards values include: loving, secure, successful, healthy, stimulated, excited, peaceful, serene, fun, humour, relaxed, freedom etc.
Common Away From values include: anger, depression, worry, insecurity, loss, boredom, guilt, hurt, lonely, etc.
Next is to do a values sort – which values are most important for you to feel, and which are not? Rate them from 10 being most important to 1 being least important. Its useful to remember that your values stack is contextual - the order will change depending on the environment you’re in or where you’re placing your attention. Which value is most important? Which is least important?
What absolutely must happen for those values to be fulfilled? How can you leverage your values stack to achieve an outcome or make a change in your life?
A little time spent uncovering your values will be life changing. How are you valuing your life?
Uncover all of your values and beliefs to get maximum results quickly, contact us or join us on our four day Mind Skills Mastery training.