The concept of visualisation has been around for quite some time now. Its one of the most popular applications the field of sports, personal development, meditation, law of attraction etc. And for many people it gets great results. But what about those of us who can’t seem to visualise and see that clear picture of what we’re striving for? And does it really work for anybody?
Its Bathurst Weekend. For our friends and colleagues in the other parts of the world, Bathurst is a small town in New South Wales, Australia. Its famous for hosting the best motor sport in the world at the Mount Panaroma race track. And its awesome.
Bathurst is big on our calendar. Unlike Christmas, where we have been known to work, we always take the weekend of the great race off to attend, either via the couch or at Mount Panorama.
The cars are superb, the speeds hair raising for V8s, and the teams are finely tuned. Top Gear rates it. It’s a weekend where years of training and weeks of preparation roar into action. An endurance race of 1000 kilometres.
This is not just about noise, petrol heads and very fine models, its about mental and physical performance. Its about relationships. Its about people coming together to share passion and rivalry.
We (Aaron and Karren) have had great adventures in Spain and Italy. After attending three weeks of NLP Training in Spain with other NLP Masters from 37 countries, we have come back with a wealth of new knowledge and practical applications which can help you get faster results in your communication and relationships.
Many relationship courses, books, and articles focus on addressing the outcomes of how we communicate and relate. We have found that there is an easier way to change your relationships with the people you communicate with. The human mind has a wealth of unconscious resources, and we can utilise these to create strategies to manage emotions, and how we demonstrate them. Have you ever said something and then asked yourself "now, why did I say that?" Or expressed something and then regretted it? Do you keep a record of all the ways you could have behaved instead of did behave in certain situations?
An emotion can be described as a cluster of neuro chemicals firing which creates a physical response. Our brain is responsible for operating the system, and often our emotions are filed with our autonomous system - the part of the brain responsible for keeping our heart beating, muscles moving, breathing and bio functionality. Neuro Linguistic Programming strategies have been proved to work with emotions, language and how your brain works. What if you could install a programme that alerts you to a shift in an emotional state before you express it? Imagine being able to interrupt anger, frustration, helplessness and other emotions that can cause negative outcomes? Its another choice point that has been added to the NLP toolkit, which we're pleased to include in the Relationship Mastery Workshop next month.
We've been working on this workshop all year. The clients and organisations we have been working with have had many of their communication and staff issues resolved. We have brought these strategies together in one workshop to provide an experience and learning that will change how you relate with your colleagues, managers, friends and loved ones.
One of the major outcomes of this training is how to improve the relationship with yourself. Learn how to immediately shift your internal voice (that chatter that can keep you awake at night) into an ally and champion. You can remove the negative past events which continue to programme current relationships and interactions.
We've structured the workshop so you can take each day's learnings and implement them into your life, and then learn to adapt them for accelerated results.
Visit the Relationship Mastery Workshop page for more information.
In 2009 I was broken and disenfranchised with the world having come out of a messy divorce. Work was hard, and all consuming, and I knew I needed a change for the better but didn't know how to achieve it.
I attended the NLP & Mind Skills workshop, and learnt about some tools that could help me work my life in a different way. Knowing and understanding how to achieve what you want in life, and to get what you want is an art that only few in the world have a natural talent for.
The Mind Skills training gave me the tools I needed to change my life...and I wanted more! Since 2009 I have trained to become an NLP practitioner, and I am attending further training to become an NLP Trainer.
A person once said to me "if you aren't living your dreams, you aren't really living". Those words struck a chord with me, and so if you are keen to make changes in your life to become "More" then all I can recommend is that you attend this training...it will change the way you see and do life!
More and more athletes are utilising NLP techniques and strategies to understand the mind body link, and enable their mind to facilitate the excellence they desire in their chosen field. The All Blacks have a Mind Skills Coach; Richie’s “The Open Side” shows a glimpse of the mind body connection at work during extreme physical and psychological pressure. Bill Phillips, Body for Life founder is an NLP Master Practitioner who teaches and demonstrates the effectiveness of using the mind and body in harmony to achieve excellent physical results. Nick Dunne and Stu Downs, both cycling record setters in New
Zealand, have used NLP strategies to assist with their achievements.
NLP Practitioners deploy a number of strategies when coachingpeople who want to improve their mental and –as a consequence - physical performance. The mind and body are hardwired in a loop. Beliefs, habits, experience and knowledge - sometimes not of our own choosing - establish the parameters of what is (and is not) possible for our mind and body. Often we override the feedback loop for the unconscious and autonomous systems in our body, thereby making flawed meaning about the information coming into our conscious awareness.
Every client is different, although there are patterns common to every athlete such as pain barriers, mind-set, physical fitness and recovery time. Imagine having a strategy so that within 60 seconds you have negotiated another option to pain, while at the same time calibrating the impact it might have on the next race. Imagine being able to achieve training goals and commitments with less conscious effort and more automatic behavioural excellence. Or perhaps it would be good to uninstall non supportive habits and thinking and install some new ones to help achieve the goals you want. NLP strategies can also assist athletes in better accessing the parasympathetic system for recovery, or for endurance athletes, activating it at will.
Future Now are pleased to be a friend of No Shadows, http://no-moreshadows.blogspot.co.nz/ a performance coaching and training group developed by Stu Downs. We are supporting No Shadows clients to achieve their outcomes through NLP techniques and strategies, and look forward to assisting people achieve their outcomes for the 2014 Taupo Cycle Challenge.
Sometimes the difference the makes the biggest impact on attaining performance excellence are new mind skills to change what was previously limiting on the inside and out.
“Change your strategy, change your result.
Change your story, change your life.
Change your state—you change it all!” Tony Robbins
Welcome to a New Year. The western world began a New Year on January 1st. February heralds the new Chinese Year of The Horse. A time for new beginnings for some, and a new direction for others.
Resolute Revolutions At the beginning of the New Year, many people put a proverbial stake in ground and say something along the lines of “this year it will be different”. Whether its finances, jobs, weight loss, habits and things in our environment, its generally focused on something we don’t want in our lives. Or being debt free and managing finances better, or making more money and keeping it. The weight loss and fitness industry love it. I know you know the statistics; about 18% of all new members who sign up at gyms will continue to turn up after three months. They’ll keep their membership running because there’s a wonderful gratification to be had in exchanging money for a positive intention and it’s a way of paying to keep the goal active. At least they’ll be moving toward the end result right? New Year’s resolutions. They seem to resolutely return with every New Year.
Consider a Revolutionary change instead. Change the focus from who you are to who you need to be to have what you want. NLP Practitioners have a very big toolbox full of strategies and processes to help people do this, and can facilitate the process of effortless change. Imagine turning up to the gym and loving it every time you go – every week of the year - or finding an alternative that’s even better for you. What a way to save months unused gym membership and to save time, energy and money that was spent focusing on the problem. Or effortlessly not spending and finding new opportunities for the money to flow in to your savings account.
It has been said you must be the change you wish to see in the world, whether it’s in the mirror, the office, your bank balance, relationships or your environment. Tony Robbins says there only three things you need to change. Good NLP Practitioners can facilitate your revolution in three hours or less depending on the nature of the change desired. Of course, we can’t make you a millionaire overnight, but we can help you become the person who knows how to make and keep lots of money to do and have the things you want.
What do you want? And who do you need to be in order to have this? Your discovery may begin with a Well Formed Outcome. We have designed a workbook to lead you through the process here. You can also call us on 04 212 5299 for our new year’s gift of free assistance with the workbook steps.
The Create Your Future Now workshop provides an intensive training in NLP strategies to change your stories and state and achieve your outcomes and goals in any area of your life. The next available course is in Wellington on 21 & 22 June and 12 & 13 July 2014. Visit our training page to register.
One of our favourite take away patterns for change, or reprogramming “how you do what you do” is Self Edits. Anthony Robbins has been credited as the developer of this pattern. Some clients initially believe this pattern to be too simplistic to get results, however we have yet to meet anyone who has tried it and not obtained great results.
· Last thing at night, before you sleep, run through your day as it happened – like a movie trailer, noting the significant moments.
· Rerun through your day, changing or editing the bits that did not go so well – you can rub them out, change the colour with a magic paintbrush, put a funny soundtrack on any voices, rewrite the script, redirect anything you didn’t like to a more positive outcome.
Do this process for seven days, and notice the changes.
You can adapt this process to create more positive emotions and eliminate fear of the unknown future. In the morning, as you plan or review the things you have to do for the day, imagine doing with them with ease, and getting positive results. This sets your intention and give your unconscious mind an outcome to aim for.
If you live in the Central part of New Zealand, you’ll be getting used to a little rock n roll. Or perhaps not. Earthquakes can take away the ability to control our environment, and reduce certainty in our lives. Some things that might help take back control are to plan and be busy doing something you can control.
· B R E A T H E. These aftershocks and tremblings have many people holding their breath, which can reduce oxygen in our systems, creating tiredness, anxiety, and closed loops in our thinking patterns. At least twice a day breathe deeply.
· Decide on a meeting place and strategy to get in touch. The nearest school or Civil Defence designated site is useful.
· Get Thru has useful tips and a plan http://www.getthru.govt.nz and carry out the plan there.
· Meet your neighbours. Even if you have been there for years. You might like to organise a neighbourhood gathering.
· Take photographs of your house, family, friends and treasured possessions.
· Turn off the TV and GNS site. Someone else is telling you what to see, feel and think. There is no definitive prediction of a fatal earthquake occurring. A bit like life, we can only plan for the worst and expect the best.
· Focus on what you can do to help yourself and others reduce fear and create positivity by facilitating positive discussions and behaviours. Acknowledge, and try not buying into or increasing the drama and fear patterns in others.
· Practice gratitude for the here and now, as it increases focus on the positive things. Living well in the present is something we can all do.
We have some free sessions available if you are having trouble coping with the earthquakes. Call us on 04 212 5299 to find out more. If you are a certified NLP Practitioner and would like to offer your services to assist others in coping please email us – email@example.com with your details, availability and offering.
An interesting article on one way the FBI utilise NLP. Some of the language and concepts are different in how we train and deliver NLP, however the article provides a good example of rapport in a critical situation.
Subtle Skills for Building Rapport
By VINCENT A. SANDOVAL, M.A., and SUSAN H. ADAMS, M.A.
FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin
Mark Hamilton, a seasoned detective, slowly opens the door to the interview room. The witness to the drive-by shooting sits leaning forward in a chair with her head in her hands. Normally, Mark bellows out his introduction to establish immediate control, but not this time. He enters the room without speaking, pulls a chair close to the witness, leans forward, and, in a barely audible voice, slowly begins, "I'm Detective Mark Hamilton...."
Detective Hamilton is using techniques from NeuroLinguistic Programming, a communication model with a name he might not even recognize. Yet, his years of interviewing have taught him the techniques. To establish rapport with this witness, Detective Hamilton knows that he needs to match her nonverbal behavior, or kinesics, by sitting down and leaning forward. When the witness begins to talk, Detective Hamilton listens carefully to her words and intentionally uses similar language. He also pays close attention to how she talks and matches her paralanguage (speech rate, volume, and pitch). In so doing, Detective Hamilton builds rapport with the witness and, hence, increases his chances of gathering pertinent information during the interview.
Detective Hamilton and other experienced investigators recognize the crucial role that rapport plays in an interview. Derived from the French verb rapporter meaning "to bring back," the English word rapport refers to a relationship or communication characterized by harmony.1 With this in mind, the need for rapport applies to all interviews, but especially to those involving a victim or witness who has experienced physical or psychological abuse. The interviewer's task is similar to that of the clinical psychologist, who must initially develop a personal bond with his client before intimate feelings are shared.2 Thus, investigators can enhance their rapport-building skills by examining some practical recommendations derived from the behavior modification technique known as Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
UNDERSTANDING NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
In the early 1970s, John Grinder, an assistant professor of linguistics at the University of Cali-fornia in Santa Cruz, and Richard Bandler, a student of psychology, identified patterns used by successful therapists. They packaged them in a way that could be passed on to others through a model now known as Neuro-Linguistic Programming, or NLP.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming embraces three simple concepts. First, the neuro part of NLP recognizes the fundamental idea that all human behavior originates from neurological processes, which include seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling. In essence, people experience the world through their senses. Second, they communicate their experiences verbally, through language; therefore, the linguistic part of NLP refers to this use of language to communicate thoughts. Finally, the programming aspect of NLP recognizes that individuals choose to organize their ideas and actions to produce results. Each person also decides how to organize these ideas in a specific manner.
The NLP founders theorize that people think differently and that these differences correspond to individual programming or processing systems. People use their senses outwardly to perceive the world and inwardly to "re-present" this experience to themselves. In NLP, representational systems denote ways people take in, store, and code information in their minds. These systems pertain to the principal human senses-seeing (visual), hearing (auditory), and feeling (kinesthetic). To a lesser degree, they involve tasting (gustatory) and smelling (olfactory). People constantly see, hear, and feel whatever transpires around them. When individuals relate these experiences to others, they mentally access the sights, sounds, or feelings associated with these experiences and communicate them through their predominant representational system.
BUILDING RAPPORT WITH NLP
Enhancing communication and, hence, building rapport represents the most applicable aspect of NLP to investigators. The ability to communicate effectively and build rapport stands as one of the major contributors to a police officer's success in dealing with the public. In an interview setting, effective communication involves the interviewer's skill in establishing rapport through specific actions and words, thereby building trust and encouraging the interviewee to provide information.
Others besides successful law enforcement interviewers have found NLP techniques helpful in rapport building. For example, some medical hypnotists use the concept of "matching" with highly resistant clients.
By simply conforming their nonverbal behavior to that of each client, by using language from the client's preferred representational system (visual, auditory, or kinesthetic), and by matching the client's volume, tone, and rate of speech (paralanguage), they often can overcome the client's reluctance to communicate. When interviewers intentionally align themselves with a witness or suspect through these matching or mirroring techniques, the interviewee is more inclined to respond to the interviewer and subsequently provide information. As one researcher points out, "people like people who are like themselves."
Once interviewers establish rapport, barriers disappear, trust grows, and an exchange of information follows. To achieve these results, interviewers should match or "mirror" the interviewee's kinesics, language, and paralanguage.
Building Rapport by Matching Kinesics
Matching another person's body language or kinesics probably is the easiest and most obvious technique. Kinesic behavior typically includes gestures, posture, and movements of the body, such as the hands, arms, feet, and legs.
However, a difference exists between mimicry and matching. Interviewers should match another person's body language with subtlety and caution; otherwise, the person easily could become offended. People who have developed rapport tend to match each other in posture and gestures. For example, individuals conversing together often adopt the same posture. Like partners in a dance, they respond and mirror each other's movements with movements of their own, engaging in mutual responsive actions.
Detective Hamilton employs the kinesics aspect of NLP in his interview. When he enters the interview room, he immediately notices the witness' posture and the position of her hands. He notes that she is leaning forward with her head down. Her posture and the position of her head speak volumes.
"Once interviewers establish rapport, barriers disappear, trust grows, and an exchange of information follows."
As Detective Hamilton introduces himself, he pulls his chair close to the witness and, just like her, leans forward in his chair with his hands in front of him. As the witness begins to open up and speak about what she has seen, her non-verbal behavior gradually follows suit, as she opens herself up by sitting back. Eventually, as her trust in Detective Hamilton grows, she feels comfortable enough to relax. She realigns her posture by sitting up and facing Detective Hamilton. Through each succeeding change in her body language, Detective Hamilton matches her behavior, thereby lending credence to the belief that the deeper the rapport has been built between two people, the closer the matching of body language.
Building Rapport by Matching Language
Because people use language to communicate thoughts, the words they choose reflect the way they think. When relating experiences, an individual uses the visual, auditory, or kinesthetic representational system to identify these experiences and communicate them to others. For example, a person whose predominant representational system is visual will say phrases, such as "I see what you mean," "that looks good to me," "we see eye to eye," or "I get the picture." On the other hand, a person whose preference is auditory will use language, such as "something tells me...," "that rings a bell," "we're on the same wave length," or "that sounds okay to me." Finally, a person who is kinesthetic or "feeling" oriented will make statements, such as "I'll get in touch with you," "how does that grab you?," "you don't have to get pushy," or "how do you think I feel?
Successful investigators listen closely to the choice of words witnesses and suspects use. Then, they conform their language to match the interviewee, using similar visual, auditory, or kinesthetic phrases.
When Detective Hamilton's drive-by shooting witness finally begins to talk, she describes her situation with phrases, such as "tremendous pressure," "I feel like I'm going to pieces," and "I can't come to grips with what's happening." The detective responds to the witness' account by matching her words. When she speaks of the "tremendous pressure," he explains ways to relieve the "pressure." He continues to use kinesthetic phrases, such as "take this load off your shoulders," to communicate in her preferred representational system.
Because individuals process information in different ways, through distinct representational systems, the investigator often acquires valuable insight into the interviewee's personal preference by paying close attention to the interviewee's eye movements. According to NLP, eye movements, referred to as "eye-accessing cues,"14 reflect the manner in which an individual processes data. Therefore, the eyes move in specified directions, depending upon the person's preferred mode of thinking. The founders of NLP concluded that eye movements reflect whether the person has a visual preference (thinks in terms of pictures), an auditory preference ("hears" sounds), or a kinesthetic preference (feels or experiences emotion) to process information.
Typically, individuals move their eyes up at an angle as they remember a picture. Some people look directly to the side, which indicates that they are using the auditory mode to recall something that they probably heard before. Finally, individuals who look down at an angle appeal to kinesthetic sensations as they recollect what they felt or experienced.
If an investigator observes that a witness consistently looks up at an angle, particularly when responding to questions that require recall, the interviewer can conclude, with a measurable degree of confidence, that the person is "seeing" a picture while remembering information. In NLP terms, this individual's preferred representational system is visual. The investigator can facilitate the witness' recollection of events by encouraging this visual recall through such phrases as "how did it look to you?" or "show me what you mean." If the witness looks to the side when asked a question concerning what the person saw, the investigator can encourage the witness to remember by using questions designed to stimulate auditory recall, such as "tell me what you heard" or "how did it sound to you?" Finally, if the witness looks down at an angle when asked a question by the investigator, this could indicate that the person has a kinesthetic preference. Therefore, the investigator can choose phrases that underscore the witness' feelings or emotions, such as "how did all of this feel to you?" or "can you get a handle on what took place?" By closely monitoring the movements of a person's eyes and aligning questions in accordance with the interviewee's observed preferences, investigators can build rapport, thereby enhancing communication between themselves and the people they interview. While NLP practitioners cite a direct neurological connection between eye movements and representational systems, other researchers recognize the need for additional empirical studies. Currently, investigators use interviewees' eye movements as another possible indicator of their preferred manner of communicating.
Building Rapport by Matching Paralanguage
Matching another person's speech patterns, or paralanguage, constitutes the final, and perhaps most effective, way to establish rapport. Paralanguage involves how a person says something or the rate, volume, and pitch of a person's speech. One researcher goes so far as to say that matching the other person's voice tone or tempo is the best way to establish rapport in the business world. What may hold true in the business realm applies in the interview setting as well. Individuals can speak fast or slow, with or without pauses. They can talk in a loud or soft volume and in a high or low pitch. However, most people are unaware of their own speech rate or vocal tones. In fact, investigators do not have to match a person's voice exactly, just close enough to encourage that individual to feel understood.
In the interview setting, slowing the rate of speech to correspond with the pace of a halting witness allows for recall and communication at that person's pace. By the same token, if a witness speaks with more volume and at a quick rate, the investigator should try to match the person's animated and expressive manner of speech. By listening carefully and paying close attention to how people speak, investigators can, in NLP terms, get "in sync" with people by matching their paralanguage.
Experienced investigators continually employ this technique, usually without even thinking about the mechanics or the process involved. Detective Hamilton also uses this aspect of NLP in his interview.
The drive-by shooting witness speaks slowly, as if searching for the right words. Detective Hamilton slows the rate of his speech, giving ample time for the witness to get her point across without feeling rushed. He lowers his voice to match her soft volume and refrains from the urge to interrupt her. As the witness becomes more excitable, speeding up her speech rate and increasing her volume, Detective Hamilton increases his rate and volume as he attempts to mirror her. In so doing, he demonstrates to the witness that he is interested in her as an individual, and this allows her to communicate what she experienced in a way that is comfortable for her.
Detective Mark Hamilton's witness begins to feel support and understanding from the interviewer, who continues to match her kinesics, language, and paralanguage. When he sees her consistently looking down to her right, he realizes that she may be processing information on the kinesthetic level and encourages her to talk about her feelings. Slowly, she begins to trust Detective Hamilton.
Unbeknown to the witness, Detective Hamilton had been matching her in specified ways until she finally felt secure enough to provide full details of the drive-by shooter and his vehicle. As a result, the witness' emotional need was met and, from Detective Hamilton's perspective, the interview was a success.
Successful investigators listen "closely to the choice of words witnesses and suspects use."
This scenario illustrates the importance of carefully observing how witnesses and suspects communicate through nonverbal, verbal, and vocal means. Neuro-Linguistic Programming is not a new concept nor used rarely. In fact, most successful interviewers employ some variation of it to gain rapport. However, by being conscious of the process and the benefits associated with NLP, interviewers can use these techniques to their advantage. By matching interviewees' nonverbal behavior, the manner in which they say something, and even their choice of words, interviewers can increase rapport and enhance communication. As a result, the potential for gaining crucial information needed to help resolve investigations improves significantly.
from the FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin - August 2001 Issue
Contributors' opinions and statements should not be considered an endorsement by the FBI for any policy, program, or service.
Submodalities are the labels applied to how the unconscious codifies representational systems to make meaning of the world. All NLP Practitioners work with submodalities, and there are so many different descriptions. This document attempts to provide meaning to each of the commonly used submodality descriptions. You may find it useful when working with yourself and others.
States have submodalities, and so do memories, beliefs and and emotions. For example, we can elicit the submodalities for an event and can recode them thereby reframing them. There are many language, spatial and structural patterns a Practitioner can use to facilitate reframing. Often, changing the submodalities of an event can make such a difference to how we re present it to the conscious mind.
If you would like to know more about using submodalities, or how to change your reference to an event, belief or create new ones, join us on a training course or call us for a consultation.
This is Karren Kerrisk and Aaron Waugh's blog about Future Now, with occasional appearances by guest practitioners and coaches.